The Piggy-kid Caper

A family farm is all about pigs and kids. Two- and four-legged, that is.

Than's pig project is growing along very nicely, those hams are really starting to shape up. And it's nice to see them so friendly and responsive to pig-talk and scratching, considering the pig-rodeo they put on the day they were captured and brought to the farm.

The pigs and four-legged kids share a turn-out paddock about 50x75 feet which includes some very large concrete pier blocks, a few boulders, and the compost pile. Obviously an area perfectly designed for a kid and pig caper.

Patty Pig: "Hey, wait for me, don't eat all the good stuff over there!"

Pumpkin: "Who said SHE could come over here? I'm checkin' this out, what are they getting that WE can't have?? This could be porcine provocation for a rumble, ya know."

Pumpkin: (singing) "The earth - moved - under my feet... hey guys, Patty's throwin' her weight around again..."

Stew: snort--snarf--snarkle--"Don't bother me, gotta get this while the gettin's good...we only have 15 minutes, remember."

Patty Pig: "Hey, look they threw out some new stuff. Wonder what's in here?"

Patty Pig: "I bet it's truffles! Ya, ya, it's truffles, guys, it's truffles! I KNEW I had some French blood, those dudes kept saying I was Yorkshire. They don't know a mamzelle from a melon."

Patty Pig: "WHAT??? Whaddaya mean, truffles don't grow here?"

Patty Pig: "Well, it smells like truffles to me, and I'm gonna get me some! They are good for a girl's figure, ya know..."

Baby: "Truffles? You mean they threw away some CHOCOLATE???"

Pumpkin: "Isn't she just precious? And she isn't even blond..."

Patty Pig: snort - snarf - snarkle "You should try this stuff, I'm tellin' ya, it's truffles for sure!"

Pumpkin: "Are you serious? That is SO not how a goat eats!"

Baby: "Chocolate? Raspberry?"

Frank: "OK, move it over, let me show ya how a REAL hog does truffles!"

Baby: "Oooo, it's chocolate, isn't it? I just know it's chocolate!"

Pumpkin: "Ya, right."

snort - snarf - snarkle

Baby: "I can smell the chocolate, I can smell it!"

Pumpkin: "I really don't think that's what you are smelling..."

(At this point, Frank gave a heave with his nose, the straw pile the goat kids were standing on went straight in the air, along with the goats, and we almost fell over laughing!)

Frank: "Ya gotta get into the job, MOVE this stuff!"

Pumpkin: "Hey, lardo, you're supposed to toss SALAD, not kids!!!!"

Baby: "Frank. FRANK! You're rockin' my world, dude, take it easy!"

Pumpkin: "Nanny nanny nah nah! GOTCHA! That's what you get for giving a kid a toss!!"

(She had reached down with her little horns and butted Frank on the ham, then danced with glee at her audacity! Frank scuttled around the other side of the pierblock, bucking all the way.)

Patty Pig: "Can you teach me to climb like that? We can play Pig on the Mountain!"

Pumpkin: "Uh, I don't know. You have to have a certain amount of SPRING. Not to be impolite, but you have an awful lot to get into the air..."

Frank: "C'mon, Patty, pigs hafta do pig things. Don't go gettin' above yourself."

Patty Pig: "Oh alright, I really wanted to find some more truffles, anyway."

Pumpkin: "You just don't get it, do you?"

Than: "That's OK, Patty Pig, I love you anyway!"

The End.