It's for the birds...

"Looks like da coast is clear..."
"Jackpot! Look at all dose seeds just stuck together, all packaged up nice and tidy for me..."

"What th....??? How dey expect a self-respectin' squirrel to get into dis here contraption?"

"Well, dere's more dan one way ta crack a nut..."

"Thhhupppt! Thhhupppt! Good grief, dere's some kinda sticky smelly stuff on MY seeds!"

"Wellll, can't be too choosey in dis weather. Hmmmm. Actually, it's not too bad. Kinda like a crunchy hamburger...."

"Man, ya hafta be a CONTORTIONIST to get dis stuff outta da cage!"
"Ya see, dis is why squirrels have TAILS. Big FLUFFY tails. All da better to balance with - not ta mention keepin' my toes warm. Which would be why squirrel collars are popular on winter coats around here...some of my cousins are hangin' out on coats now..."

"See dese paws? I'm tellin' ya, dem der raccoons got NUTTIN' on squirrels for handy-dandy paws! We can get inta any birdfeeder ever invented! "

"And, we got dem on BOTH ENDS!"

"HEY! YOU THERE!! WITH THE TAIL!!! AMSCRAY! Ya got no respect? This stuff is all for the BIRDS! "

"Is it gone? I can't HANDLE this...I need my SUET. Is that thing gone for real?"
And if that little Nuthatch thinks Jetta ran the squirrel off just to be nice, it needs to have it's little bird brain examined...